Day 9

6/29/12

If I could say only one word to talk about the night we had: I am just going to say "spark-filled". Yes, that is one word, see the hyphen???!

Back track- Today was a big day. WE decided that I didnt need to move to Wilkinson County and that I needed to be close in town, for various reasons, but I secretly know it is because I didn't want to be that far away from you.

For the first time, looking at places on my own didnt feel right. I wanted you there with me, guiding me and giving me advice and protecting me from living somewhere awful. When I had to look at that loft alone, I already knew I wasnt going to live there. I want you to have a say in what I do. I walked in that place and immediately wanted to cry. Is this it God? This is what you have for me? This is awful God- and the door could be kicked in really easily. I sent you the video just to hope that you would share some of my pain and tell me to do something different. When you replied just walk away from it- my tears resided and my heart beat came back to normal. Oh praise Jesus that God hears the heart of the brokenhearted!! You truly cared for me and could sense that I didnt feel safe through some text written words. You didnt even have to hear my voice and you knew something wasn't right. Kevin, I am so grateful for that.

I like how you "get me" when I know I dont get myself. So on to some more calling and panicing. Somehow in the back of my mind I wanted to listen to you and believe that what you were saying was going to be made true, about it working out and something would turn up, but I couldnt bring myself to it. I just knew I wasnt going to find something and leaving the "Ritz" was going to be the worst mistake ever. God proved me wrong, just as well as you.

It was SO comforting for you to come look at that townhouse for me and with me. To know that you spent a lot of time trying to get here quick to protect my decision made me feel oh so extra special- and that I was worth something.

When you said pull the trigger baby- I knew you had my best interest at heart. And then you said "It is only temporary". Kevin- Im glad you didnt lean in close to hear my heart- because it was running away wild. You dont even know me- but you know you want to spend the rest of your life with me- trying  making me happy. And the first step in that was making sure I felt safe. Thank you for doing that for me.

I just want you to know that Friday night was the BEST date. I will admit I was incredibly nervous and that my tummy was rumbling because of sheer nerves. Waiting on you to get there was so awful. I felt like I was 15 again. A school girl with a big ol crush getting picked up to spend time together with a BOY. Too much! You made the waiting worth it. Man- if I havent told you- you are beyond attractive. So dreamy and so freaking hott. Your shoulders surely set you apart. You looked so handsome. And the cutest part? That you wanted me in the middle. Oh, that is a first. I am glad it was both of our firsts. The details of this date can be described as:
it felt so right, I am so overwhelmed that you would kiss me in public- and at the dinner table. I smiled the entire time. Even in the funny parts (you missing your mouth a few times), I didnt want to be ANY where else with ANY one else. You made me feel like I was the only girl on the planet, seriously. I had your complete attention and it was so sweet. My crabcakes and asparagus were truly amazing- but only because of the wonderful man I was sharing it with. Thank you for a perfect date night Mr. Pope, let's do it again real soon love.

Later that night- I see another sweet side of you. You moved a truckload of my crap into my new place and everytime you put a box in the new place, there was a sweet kiss waiting for me when I came in. You will never know how much this meant to me- that you ask me on a date a week earlier and the next you are willingly moving me into a new apartment. Kevin, you are an amazing man. I am so glad God put this life in order and that I can be next to you. Thank you for a fun night of getting dressed up and actually being made to feel like I was pretty- and for making that hour and a half the best talking time ever. Thank you for moving my stuff so late at night. Thank you for holding my hand on the ride home while I was about to drift off to sleep. Thank you for praying for us. So excited to call you mine!